Dear Abby: Daughter hears hard truth on doorbell cam
Dear Abby We were recorded on video and audio on our daughter s porch thinking we were talking to each other privately We were discussing how hurt we were that she didn t want to spend time with us on our th wedding anniversary shortly after she and her husband moved out of state They could easily have driven to a new RV park close to our house Her aunt tried to talk with her about seeing family members and being with us but she refused We have supported our daughter despite all the mistakes she has made She was offended that we had no good thoughts regarding her new life in another state and confronted me about my negativity which was caught on camera I have apologized to no avail about my negativity but I was angry and hurt My husband believes she has to be the one to forgive and forget It s been two years of sending Christmas and birthday cards with no acknowledgement What to do Busted in Georgia Dear Busted I agree with your husband Remember the adage The best defense is a good offense It is also known as the strategic offensive principle of war Your daughter knows she was wrong not to come to your anniversary celebration and she also knows how upset you were about it because she has seen it on her doorbell camera However she doesn t want to admit she was wrong and apologize What you should do now is continue sending holiday cards to let her know the ball is in her court and hope that with time she will grow up Dear Abby My husband and I have known each other for years and been married for He has a severe drinking predicament He still works and doesn t drink during the workweek but he makes up for it in spades on weekends We both stopped drinking alcohol years ago I never started again but he did and now he can t stop He is too proud to seek professional help He s an engineer and thinks he can quit on his own but he is only fooling himself My issue is that he retires soon and I m afraid he will be drunk all the time To me it is a deal-breaker We are both in our s I retired years ago If I leave him I have nowhere to go with only SSA to promotion myself Any advice you may have is welcome because I am at my wits end with the whole thing Floundering in Utah Dear Floundering Because you didn t mention Al-Anon the -step undertaking that supports friends and families affected by a loved one s drinking I will assume you have never attended any of their meetings Go online to al-anon org info and find out whether there are meetings near you You may be surprised to discover there are countless If you attend meetings you will find others who are experiencing problems similar to yours and learn coping methods You might even find a roommate if you choose to move out Please don t wait to start Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
